Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Making A Great Day

One of my favorite sayings that Aj has coined brilliantly on his blog. I am still searching for something that sticks and people can think of during the day, but I do not feel as if I have found one.

I use create, inspire and be inspired because I think that it is something that is essential in life. I enjoy helping others reach their goals because I receive some personal satisfaction from it knowing I have made a difference (at least I tell myself I have). It is equally important that I have people who inspire me. There are many people I turn to for advise, motivation or things as simple as a smile. I am grateful for having such a great "panel" for support and advice starting with my immediate family.

Above all, this group of people are the ones who I trust will appreciate my views, opinions and life decisions. They are there to question my beliefs and help me develop a better understanding for life. There is a quote that goes "Say what you think and act how you feel because those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter." I find this true right now (it may change) because everybody has their own view on subjects.

Linked to these beliefs we build in our own suffering that prevents us from making our own great day.Aj talked about in his blog how it is in us to create the world we live in and how we wish to see the world is how we see it. I am finding this to be more and more true.

Stress does not come from the environment, it comes from the mind of the individual under stress. We make assumptions about the world we live in, the way people should act, what we think should happen and how it should happen. These expectations only lead to disappointment because they rarely work out that way. Every time before a wrestling match I would run through how I expected it to go. Start out with high intensity, get the first takedown, finish strong, ect. Everything I had previously envisioned before my match rarely ever happened as I had planed. If I had gotten upset about things not going as planned, it would have snowballed and led to an incredibly disappointing career. It is like a poker player who throws all in hoping to get a good card.

We try to hard to get the world to match our thinking and complain about how difficult things are.

"This movie wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be"
"That was so much harder that I expected"
"Who knew it would take that long"

I am working towards letting go of presumptions I have before I get into things. Be it having a more open opinion towards people opinions or events that occur in my life. If we don't free ourselves from these assumptions they can devour us and create a stressful world that many live in.

In the book I just finished titled Radical Honesty, Brad Blanton explains that people cling to these assumptions because we think the decisions we have made in the past are the truths that should occur in the future. To quote him, "Yesterdays truth is today's bullshit." Evidence from the past does not prove anything about current experience. For example, I told my Mother I loved her yesterday so it should be assumed from now on that I love her and have no need to state my feelings again. Most would agree that that theory of logic is absurd so why do we follow this patter in other ways of life?

Life goes on.

Truth changes.

The way we are living today will not be the same as tomorrow.

So how will my life change if I bike home with neutral emotions and don't expect to be welcomed with a hug and a smile? I think it will be that much more of a memorable experience. An experience that is not lined with the fantasy I create in my mind only to be let down if I receive another welcome besides a hug.

The same is true with our environment. Our past "truths" are bullshit. Create the world you want to live in.

Help yourself. Its free. Pass it on.


Anonymous said...

This is just my opinion, and my opinion has typographical errors. Leave me alone. As for the rest, feel free to pick it apart.
Don't be afraid to hold on to your presumptions. If they turn out to be wrong, you really have three choices. Ignore them--They you become a pacifist. Be crushed by them--and never be satisfied. Or change the things that ruined your presumptions. Make the world a better place; the place you want it to be. We all have it in our power to change the world.
We cannot be afraid to change things. If you tell your mother that you love her one day, continue to tell her that every day, and if you want her to tell you the same, don't be afraid to explain to her that you would like her to tell you she loves you (if she means it, which I'm sure she does).
With wrestling, presume that you will win, and you greatly increase your chances of winning. If your presumptions are wrong, you now have something to work towards. This should not give you stress, but provide you with an opportunity to better yourself. And the next time you step on the mat, with the same presumptions, they can be right.
Like you said at the end of your blog "Create the world you want to live in" You can't do that without presumptions.
Keep putting stuff like this on Wes, and I might have to start replying more often. Great Blog!

--Lee Meirick

Wesley Gregg said...

I love opinions and wish more people would post comments, whether agreeing or disagreeing.

You're right, do have it in our power to change the world. In order to do this, you must change your life first. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," type of mantra.

It is not a matter of being afraid to change things, change is a good thing (sometimes). In my opinion, letting go of presumptions is beneficial because things that were true in the past are not true today. We like to think they are true and sometimes we can make some good predictions about what may happen, but many times we are wrong about these predictions.

I am in complete agreement with your comment in regards to expressing your feelings with others. I may not have delivered my message effectively in my blog but how many people go through each day without telling their parents they love them. How many marriages have ended because their partner doesn't express their feelings and tell them they love them each day?

Looking back with wrestling, I wish I would have never worried about anything but competing to the best of my ability. I cannot control how important the match is, who is watching and what people will think. Me thinking I will win has no factor if I simply complete my hardest because that is all I can do. Its like when people say they deserve to win more than the other guy because they worked harder. Bullshit. Maybe the other guy doesn't have to work hard at all and can still beat you, but you thinking you worked so hard that the other guy should lay down for you. How much more success would you have had if you had no preconceived notions before any match you had? You knew nothing about the guy, what team you were wrestling, how well you felt, ect. How much stress would that relieve? Look in my case, just because I beat a kid 3 times during the year I should be able to beat him again, right?

I find it very hard to get go of presumptions because I have based most all of my decisions on what "could" happen. Who cares? You will live to see another day. For instance, if I held on to the belief that all girls would reject me if I asked them out because I got turned down by the first girl I ever approached, it would have been very detrimental to my social life. But I (as well as many others) let go of this and "put it in the past" as we should with other past notions. What was true once is not true today, we only think it is.